Wilt

Here. Have some more diabetes.

I seriously cannot get enough of this girl. It’s making me feel slightly unhealthy that I’m so fascinated by my feminine counterpart. But she’s just so dang cute~.

Also, slightly unrelated to the photoset, if those last two pictures don’t answer unasked questions, then there’s a bit of a problem.

God dammit, Fem!Wilt. I’ve been dressing you up in cute outfits in this flash game for nearly 3 hours now. Quit being cute and adorable.

I blame my strangely engaged paternal instincts for this. God damn you, wanting-to-be-a-dad-inner-conscious. That’s not happening anytime soon, if at all, you bastard.

Expect more cute creations of adorable anime female me. I guess.

(Also, you guys really gotta stop making avatars and posting them on Tumblr. You’re all fostering this addiction. You’re all the cause of the problem! Curse you all! Curse you heathens!)

Well, to lighten up my blog, since the last three posts were pretty damn depressing, and because I’m a content-less dolt, have some more Fem!Wilt. I couldn’t decide between the adorable skirt or the pants I would much more realistically wear. Either way, she’s a cutie, and I hope one day I can travel to whatever dimension she resides in and hug the hell out of her.

Created using K-ON! Dress Up 2. (18+ game)

My god. This is just so horrible, that I don’t even want to be in my room right now. I just can’t. And I live here. This is the only place I’ve ever felt safe. And I want to leave? What is wrong with me right now. It’s not that I can’t face the guilt. I’d have to do that in any room of my house. Maybe it’s just the fact that I know I’ll be staring Skype and AIM, hoping you get back to me, hoping you’ll tell me what is going to happen. The anxiety and the nervousness are just killing me sitting in this chair, and I don’t want the possibility that I’ll be sitting here, for the next five days, and it never comes. It’s not even the fear of the answer, because I already know the worst that could happen. In fact, I expect the worst, and I’m honestly hoping for anything that’s at least .0001% better than that. Even something marginally better is better than the worst. But I can still accept the worst being a possibility, and if it’s an inevitability, then so be it. I made this bed, and if it’s gonna be my death bed, I’ll still lay in it. (That ‘death bed’ thing is a metaphor, guys. Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill myself. I’m far from bartering with my life over some self-satisfaction. That’s just petty.)

Anyways, this room is just literally choking me with the tension. Those who might even marginally need me, you have my phone number.

I need to stop doing what I’m doing when I build these bridges again. I really, really need to follow the instructions (no matter how metaphorical they are) and stop getting up to step three, then skipping step four through one hundred seven. I literally keep burning these bridges down because they’re still made of wood and I’m trying to use a blowtorch to hold them together, rather than a hammer and nails.

Right now, this bastard is a charred husk, if even that. A damn cough is gonna bring it down. And right now, I’m trying to figure out if letting whatever is irritating my throat do that is really worth all the trouble of holding back. If I keep trying to rebuild the thing, and I keep burning it down again, and again, and again, you’d think eventually I’d stop. I’m not getting to the other side. It’s not happening. I keep screwing things up on my own, and I never seem to notice until right after I decide to put the torch up against that tress. Next thing you know, the bloody bastard is up in flames, and I’m usually trying to pat every little ember out.

But now, I think I just want to let this one burn. I keep hurting myself, I keep hurting the person I’m trying to build it to. I’ve gotta either stop setting the damn thing ablaze, or I need to stop building it. And right now, I don’t think I’m ready to figure out how to do the prior.

God, my bridge metaphor probably sucks. But the point is, I don’t think it’s fair for me to even ask to try and rebuild this bridge again, even if, even if, the person would let me. Because that’s just exploitation, and as horrible a human being I’m fine being, I’m not going to do that to someone who I care about as much as I do this person.

Anonymous asked: Did I hear it was TMI Tuesday, well it is for like 9 more minutes!! How is everything in life and will there be anymore youtube videos soon?

M, you’ve caught me at a bad time. Really, really bad time. So I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. And really, I don’t have the time or effort to yell at you, because I’ve already done enough to hurt you. Twisting the knife is too cruel to watch myself do. So I’ll just let all the problems I gave you fester instead because you can’t seem to want to stand up and face them yourself.

So please. Not tonight. Just stop.

I’ve come to the most stunning conclusion in my life.

I literally break everything I touch. I am so accidentally destructive, that it just radiates out into everything I touch.

I am a horrible human being. Quite literally, the worst.

I hate me. Not being me. I just flat out hate me.

Hey girl. How are you like the circumference of a clock that uses rational numbers?

Because you’re both a Qtπ.

Yep. I wasted way too much effort to not post that completely imperfect and probably horribly syntaxed joke. Go me!

Anonymous asked: Yo bitch. How are you?

I be doin’ good, dawg. Kinda been sparse on Tumblr as of late because Reddit started eating up my time, then I started watching Let’s Plays on YouTube that are 50 episodes long, upwards to an hour per episode, and that ate up my time as a Redditor.
But hopefully sometime soon something interesting happens in my life. If not? Well… I’m mundane just more of the usual.

You know, I’m really glad I’m not ignorant of the internet-sex-scene nowadays. I meet so many interesting people. Where people find mere tip-strippers, I find an artist, a singer, and a smoker. These people are awesome.

And I could care less if people say it’s depressing or ‘basement-dweller-y’. The erotica trade is so… interesting. And invigorating to me.

But yeah. Just felt weird not to say something about these talented people when I’m sitting here watching three of them simultaneously being all artsy and jive and shit. Especially when one just did her own (fairly fucking awesome) rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody with tiger stripes painted up her left arm and her nipples painted orange/peach. This is classy shit here.